Breaking the Habit: A Collection of songfics
by Ze Queen
Summary: Just what the title states: It's a bunch of Songfics... All written about six minutes before posting... Please read and review!
1. Breaking the Habit

Hiya's!

Before I start, I would just like to say that I wrote this at about 3:45 in the morning, when I should have been meditating... Um, well, here's the junk that nobody reads.

Warning(s): Thoughts of suicide, OOC-ness, (wow! That's unexpected!) that's about it…

Disclaimer: You lawyers suck! Okay, okay, I don't own Dragonball Z, suicide, DBZ, Breaking the Habit by Linkin Park, DBZ, or any of the words that I may happen to use, BUT THE STORY AND PHRASING OF THE WORDS IS MINE!

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Breaking the Habit

I look outside of the tiny window of my pod, and I see their faces, all staring at me, hoping I would return with another. My thoughts have become a jumbled blur, should I do this, or should I not, should I do this, or should I not… it's driving me slowly insane. I just can't take anymore of Freiza's torments! The pod blasts off, and I am thrown into space.

0o0o0o0o0

Memories consume  
Like opening the wound  
I'm picking me apart again  
You all assume   
I'm safe here in my room  
(unless I try to start again)

0o0o0o0o0

My thoughts drive me into a deep, restless sleep. They haunt me like a ghost, mercilessly following their killer. I suppose we were damned for all eternity, but I never wanted to believe it! Their faces still haunt me, the countless people I have slaughtered, theirs, fathers.

0o0o0o0o0

I don't want to be the one  
The battles always choose  
'Cause inside I realize   
That I'm the one confused

0o0o0o0o0

It's a laughable cause, a way to die in battle, an "Honorable Death". At least that's what they tell me. I'm not sure if their right, but I'm sure of one thing: For all eternity, I'll burn in Hell, for what I haven't done for myself. It's a way of survival; not for my self, but for them.

0o0o0o0o0

I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
I don't know why I instigate  
And say what I don't mean  
I don't know how I got this way  
I know it's not alright  
So I'm  
Breaking the habit  
Tonight

0o0o0o0o0

I see a beautiful planet ahead. Good, I made it here. Well, I suppose I have to stay strong, that is, for the time being. I feel torn, I can still see his face, my last words to him were not of love or happiness, they were of hatred and fear. A lone tear escapes my eyes, and I put up the mental walls I've struggled for so long to use. I've been hiding from this world, the world of monsters and villainy. I'm not sure how much longer I can keep up this charade. My charade, the only thing that may have helped them. They're relying on me, I can't just give up! Then again, what am I supposed to do, stay there and watch them be picked off, one by one?

0o0o0o0o0

Clutching my cure  
I tightly lock the door  
I try to catch my breath again  
I hurt much more  
Than anytime before  
I had no options left again

0o0o0o0o0

No, they won't be left standing alone. I shant allow it. That's what he's for... My ship lands and I step out, putting up my act. My soul sears as I kill another man, another additive to my damnation. I look for him, and find him, hoping to any god that's out there that he will understand, and I won't have to use force. I don't need another wasted intention on my soul. I find him, he doesn't understand my meaning. As I explain, trying not to choke on my words, I sound so meaningless, my mind so eternally lost inside of my self pity. He won't listen, so I have to buckle down, even though I shant enjoy it.

0o0o0o0o0

I'll paint it on the walls  
'Cause I'm the one at fault  
I'll never fight again  
And this is how it ends

0o0o0o0o0

He comes after me; that I was expecting. Although he does something unexpected, he teams up with his arch nemeses. I feel proud that he's my brother, although I wouldn't admit it. We fight, and as the final blast lurches toward us, I can't help but want to save him. I stop fighting, and whisper my apologies to him. The blast cuts through us, leaving large holes in our bodies. We fall, as brothers, and I tell the others of their plan. My executioner finishes me off, and I await my chance in the eternal realm.

0o0o0o0o0

I don't know what's worth fighting for  
Or why I have to scream  
But now I have some clarity  
To show you what I mean  
I don't know how I got this  
I'll never be alright  
So I'm  
Breaking the habit   
I'm Breaking the habit

I'm Breaking the habit  
Tonight

0o0o0o0o0

"Kakarotto, Earth name "Goku", and Raditsu, please step forward!" The oni that was nearly six times my size yelled. I couldn't help but be intimidated, seriously, who wouldn't? His attendant, a scrawny guy with wire-rimmed glasses, made sure that all was safe, then blocked all of the other souls from coming through.

"Raditsu, You don't have a very good record. But I must say: that I know you really didn't mean anything you did after a certain period of time. Now, even as it is –" I cut him off at this point: "I'm going to hell for all the evil's I've done."

"Actually," the oni whispered, "you have only begun to realize what is going to happen to you. I'm now going to list off most of the things that you have done that earned you your place: Killing off the following planets:

Alabamota

Aletcha

Apocolupseta

Arecha

Armina

Aristas

Aristocia…

After he had finished listing all of the planets, I felt as if my stomach would move out of its proper place, and out my throat. I had killed off entire races, men, women, children, clones, animals. Countless innocents… I threw up. Everything that was in my soul, and I mean _everything_, came up. (A/N It looked kind of like ectoplasm. Enough said.) After I had stopped dry heaving, I looked up to the Oni. He looked back down at me; understanding flooded his eyes, before it left for complete blankness.

"I know that you shall atone for your sins, yet I must go on." I nodded, finding the floor, and whatever I had just thrown up, quite interesting at that moment. I felt a stare on me, so I turned to see my brother averting his eyes, as if afraid to meet my gaze. I reached out, as if to tell him that I really meant no harm, and put a hand on his arm. He jerked away, as if stung, and I pulled back. I looked up to the oni, and he begun.

"While knowing you could get others out of this lifestyle, you didn't-"

"And I fully resent that, but they will get out, someday…" My voice started strong, then faded so that no one besides myself, and maybe Kakarot, could hear me.

"I'm going to skip over a few here…" he said as he took the list of my deeds and scanned down to the end. "Hmmm, kidnapping, dragging someone with you to the grave, suicide." His eyebrows narrowed. "That doesn't go well here." He stared me down, and I whispered to myself: "I just couldn't take it anymore…" Turned, and walked to my final path, I was finally home.

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Well, that's it. I found this in the very bottom of a huge, and I mean HUGE, stack of files on my disk drive.

I actually made the list, it was about 60 pages long, and took 2 weeks to finish.

REVIEW!


	2. 24

He walked out onto the platform, a cool gust of wind from the many fans stationed around the space port blowing the few stray hairs from his face. He turned to look at the young man standing beside him. "Well, Vegeta, welcome to Frieza base 79!" he said quietly, yet with a touch of remorse gently pushed off to the side.

"You sound as if this is any different than the rest of those other bases."

"Prince Vegeta…"

"No, Raditz, just don't start!" Vegeta started out strong, but ended in a whisper: "I don't want your pity."

"My prince, I know it's not home, but it's a planet, we should be grateful to be alive."

"You call this living? Because it's not!"

000ooo000ooo000

Been given 24 hours  
to tie up loose ends  
to make amends  
His eyes said it all  
I started to fall  
and the silence deafened  
Head spinning round   
no time to sit down  
just wanted to  
run and run and run  
Be careful they say  
don't wish life away,  
now I've one day

000ooo000ooo000

"My prince-"

"I said don't start!"

"Vegeta! Hear me out! I'm not happy about this turn of events either, but am I whining about it? No! And if you think that I'm not remorseful about what happened to our planet than you need to think again! I watched it explode! I was on Freiza's base when it happened! We may be the only ones left, but that makes us all the more strong, even though we may not feel it…" Raditz' voice faltered at the last part of his speech, and he turned away, blinking back tears. Vegeta just walked off, not caring about his comrade. Raditz soon fallowed him into the hall with the soldiers, more like slaves, quarters were stationed. He stood outside his room, punched the code into the keypad, and walked in.

000ooo000ooo000

And I can't believe  
How I've been wasting my time

In 24 hours they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
please do it for me

000ooo000ooo000

Raditz collapsed onto his bed, searching under the mattress for something, once his found it, he pulled it along his arm, leaving a clean, clear cut that oozed blood. He didn't seem to mind though, he was too preoccupied with his thoughts… with the cut still bleeding, he fell into a restless slumber.

Raditz awoke several hours later, with the knife still in his hand, the cut had sealed shut, and he re-opened it, feeling that he didn't deserve to still be intact after what he had done to the countless innocents. This was an "after mission ritual" for him, although it was meant to hurt him, he never felt it. He looked at the cut, the crimson life fluid flowing out, and he felt a sudden urge to spill it all, though he didn't, he had more control than that. Another time, maybe, but not now. Vegeta needed him now.

000ooo000ooo000

Is there a heaven a hell  
and will I come back  
who can tell  
Now I can see  
what matters to me  
it's as clear as crystal  
The places I've been  
the people I've seen  
plans that I made  
start to fade  
The sun's setting gold  
thought I would grow old,  
it wasn't to be

000ooo000ooo000

He slid the knife into a hidden pocket on the inside of his armor, walked out into the hall, and then went swiftly to Vegeta's room, forgetting for the moment that he still had that self inflicted gash open. He knocked on the door hearing Vegeta's usual answer of: "Who are you, and what do you want!"

"My prince, it is me, Raditz. I came down here too apologize for my outburst yesterday."

"You may enter." Vegeta's voice sounded, and the door opened with resonating 'swooshes'. Raditz entered, and went down into the traditional Saiyan salute – down on one knee, one hand resting just above the tail on your back, and one hand clasped into a fist over your heart… that is, if you had one.

000ooo000ooo000

And I can't believe  
How I've been wasting my time

In 18 hours they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
please do it for me

000ooo000ooo

"You may rise," Vegeta said softly, and Raditz did so. "Your outburst from yesterday was unusual for you, and along with calling me "Vegeta" you went just a little over the line."

"I am sorry my prince, it shant happen again."

"It had better not, or I'll personally kick your sorry ass into the next week and back again!" The prince paused, eyes suddenly averted. "How did you get that?"

"Get what, my prince?"

"That gash, stupid! How could you have not noticed that you were bleeding?"

"I must have reopened a scab or scar from a previous battle," Raditz said, looking slightly to the left, near his injured arm. (AN: Also for those of you who didn't take psych, or don't have a mother that did, looking to the left is basically like creating a memory. Looking to the right is usually just remorse.)

"Really? If so, then why are there no other marks? Battle scars usually are jagged, this one is straight, and it would be going across, not up and down. Anything you want to tell me?" Raditz put a hand to the blade in his armor, and fingered it.

"No my prince."

"Really? Well, when you do want to talk, I'm right here in room 334728." Vegeta's eyes bore into his, and seemed to look right into his soul. Raditz bowed and left the room, walking quickly back to his, and collapseing onto the floor.

000ooo000ooo000

In 13 hours they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
Please do it for me

000ooo000ooo000

He quickley scribbled a note in neat Saiya-go, pulled off his armor, and pulled out the knife….

000ooo000ooo000

I'm not alone, I sense it, I sense it  
All that I said, I meant it, I meant it

000ooo000ooo000

Whispered "I'm sorry, but you know I can't and couldn't help." In a remorseful voice.

000ooo000ooo000

And I can't believe  
How much I've wasted my time

In just 8 hours they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
please do it for me

000ooo000ooo000

And plunged the knife into his ungarded chest, penetrateing the left ventricle.

000ooo000ooo000

In just 1 hour they'll be  
laying flowers  
on my life, it's over tonight  
I'm not messing no I  
need your blessing  
and your promise to live free  
please do it for me

000ooo000ooo000

He lay there, not moveing, waiting for deaths cold hands to grip him, and suddenly a thought came to him:

"At least I can see father again…" And with that one last thought, his body went limp, and his spirit departed….

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And QF said: "There shall be a sequal!" and there was! Well, actually it's an epilogue, but I'm making it the next chappie! Because it's already several pages long, and it's also a song fic… I'm thinkin' Winds Nocturne…


	3. On Fire

Okay, I lied, this chapter's On Fire by Switchfoot. Not the Winds Nocturne by Jenny Spiegel. :D Sorry, I just liked this one more for this bit.

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"Nappa, go to Raditz room and tell him to come here, we're going to be late!"

"Yes my prince," The burly eight-foot tall guard answered before walking down to their companions chambers…

000ooo000ooo000

They tell you where you need to go  
They tell you when you need to leave.  
They tell you what you need to know  
They tell you who you need to be.

000ooo000ooo000

"Raditz! Get your lazy ass out here!" Nappa shouted through the door, only to get no answer. "If you're sleeping I'll rip your throat out! Open the door now! We're going to miss the mission! Raditz?" Nappa waited a few minutes and, although he wouldn't admit it, was starting to get worried; after the usual threats Raditz would open the door, grinning like a fool… This was starting to scare him. He punched in the key code, and entered Raditz' room, leaving the door wide open…

000ooo000ooo000

But everything inside you  
knows there's more than what you've heard  
There's so much more than empty conversations  
filled with empty words

000ooo000ooo000

"Prince Vegeta! Come quick!"

"What is it Nappa!" Vegeta snapped as Nappa grabbed his arm and dragged him down the hall.

"It's Raditz!" Nappa looked stricken as they walked into said comrade's quarters.

"Let go of me! What is…" Vegeta instantly shut up, eyes widening. There was Raditz, lying on his back on the floor, eyes staring unblinking at the ceiling, with a knife stuck through his chest…

000ooo000ooo000

And you're on fire  
when he's near you  
You're on fire when he speaks  
You're on fire burning at these mysteries  
Give me one more time around  
give me one more chance to see,  
Give me everything you are  
Give me one more chance to be near you.

000ooo000ooo000

"How…" Vegeta trailed off. "Nappa, leave," he commanded, closing his eyes. The guard did so, and shut the door after him. Vegeta opened his eyes and put his hand on his fallen comrade's face, trailing his fingers over the cold flesh, until he reached the eyes. He let his fingers linger for a few minutes, before shutting them. He leaned his head down in mourning, and shut his own eyes.

000ooo000ooo000

When everything inside me  
Looks like everything I hate  
You are the hope I have for change  
You are the only chance I'll take

000ooo000ooo000

Vegeta leaned down and kissed those cold lips, tears dripping down from his face onto the corpse'. He pulled his head back up, and composed himself before standing.

00ooo000ooo000

And I'm on fire when you're near me  
I'm on fire when you speak  
I'm on fire burning at these mysteries.

000ooo000ooo000

_How had this happened? Raditz couldn't, no wouldn't, do that! Wait…_Vegeta remembered that cut on his friends arm, _Of course! That wound was self-inflicted, I was only teasing, thinking that he had clipped his arm on something… I should have known! He must have thought I'd figured it out, and didn't want me to pity him… _Vegeta, leaned back over, and ran his fingers through the long hair, at least to the shoulders. He would have to find a suitable burial ground for his comrade… no, friend. Raditz had been his only friend in a field of enemies, the post he leaned onto when he needed support, his friend…

Vegeta and Nappa left the station, neither talking, and conquered the planets that had been assigned. When they got back, Vegeta looked at the note he had noticed. It read:

Dearest Vegeta,

I'm sorry, but in order to repay my debts I felt I shouldn't be on this living plane. Any way, as it is my brother is on a planet called Earth, I think… the coordinates are FX50, go find him, train him more in the ways of fighting… I just found out from searching the database to see if there were any remaining Saiyans. I think that there may be more, but that was the only one that I was sure of. There should not be too many strong fighters, and don't conquer the planet… Whatever you want to do with my body is fine, (IE: Bury, incarcerate… etc.) but it would be nice to be cremated and thrown into Vegetasei's debris; I would like my final resting place to be with my father…

Tell Kakarot I send my love,

Raditz

PS: DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT PULLING A STUNT LIKE THIS! I WILL SEE YOU AROUND, BUT NOT FOR A LONG TIME!

Vegeta smiled, and the tears started flowing again. He wiped them away, and laughed. _Well, I shall respect your wishes, my friend. _And Vegeta left.

000ooo000ooo000

I'm standing on the edge of me,  
I'm standing at the edge of everything I've ever been  
And I've been standing at the edge of me, standing  
at the edge

000ooo000ooo000

000ooo000ooo000ooo000ooo0000ooo0000ooo0000ooo000ooo000ooo000ooo000ooo000

That took about 2 hours… before it was changed to On Fire it was 24 by Switchfoot after it was changed from Winds Nocturne by Jenny Spiegel… I know, it's not as long… but 24 is a really long song! By the way, the song 24 from the previous chapter is by Jem. Sorry if I caused any confusion…

R

E

V

I

E

W


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